Did we mention that she is an animator–could there be a cuter job to have in this day and age? And that director Michael Dowse oh-so-cleverly allows Chantry’s doodle of a sad-faced girl with butterfly wings to occasionally flutter across the screen and into the next scene? Must be an artisanal statement or maybe a New Millennium answer to Mickey Mouse.
In fact, these kids are so cute, they might as well be called Wallace and Gromit.
What isn’t so cute is the way the pair insist on torturing themselves by denying their feelings and agreeing to just be friends. On the surface, the reasons behind their decision make sense: She has a long-term, live-in boyfriend and he doesn’t want to be the kind of jerk who breaks up a relationship. Plus, ever since his doctor-in-training girlfriend cheated on him and caused him to become a medical-school dropout, Wallace’s motto has been, “Love is stupid.”
But, as Woody Allen once so famously declared: “The heart wants what the heart wants.” A simple shared viewing of “When Harry Met Sally …” instead of “The Princess Bride” (both Rob Reiner-directed classics) could have saved everyone a whole lot of trouble, including the audience.
Then again, we wouldn’t have had the chance to witness Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan as they practically will “What If” into seeming much better than what it really is—a glorified sitcom, with outbreaks of awkward slapstick complete with bodily injuries, in the mode of TV’s “New Girl” with its constant riff-happy repartee but three times as long.
Although, I did learn a new sexual term for hand job. Ho job. As in, “I gave him a ho-job for Christmas.”
What does work is the connection between Radcliffe and Kazan. They are so adorable with their mutual big-eye stares and doll-size stature, they put koala bears to shame. But as noted onscreen, their personalities are way too much alike to be meant for each other in the classic sense. In fact, someone makes a joke that Wallace’s name should really be “Mantry”—the male version of Chantry. They might be better suited as playmates than lovers, but even koala bears experience sexual attraction.
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